Monday, October 11, 2010

Star Vehicle Review (2010)

I attended the world premiere screening of the newest film from exploitation master Ryan Nicholson (Hanger, Gutterballs) entitled Star Vehicle. The movie follows movie-star driver Don Cardini (Dan Ellis) as he works on the set of a movie starring is favorite screamqueen Riversa Red (Sindy Feraguna). From the get-go we see Cardini as an obsessive fan with an incredible knowledge of horror movies and especially of his favorite actress Riversa Red. The movie plays the way you'd expect from a cheesy slasher flick, with Cardini attempting to hunt down the supposed stalker that Riversa Red has been dealing with, but the movie throws some fun curveballs that keeps the audience involved with the film and interested. Ellis gives a very fun and wacky performance as the lovable and psychotic Cardini, and he delivered plenty of incredible one-liners and puns that had everyone in the theater laughing their asses off. The rest of the cast plays there roles to the appropriate amount of camp that comes with a low-budget film like this, but overall I found that it greatly enhanced the film and made for some great comedy.

The movie because an incredible piece of meta-fiction when you have the cast of the film playing actors making an homage to campy horror films when the film itself is an homage to campy horror films. The movie's great in this way when you consider the stupendous scenes created by the in-movie director, with the actors delivering laughable performances and trying to make a serious film out of ridiculous situations; such as a hand nailed to a tree and the lead actor saying, "This must be a sign we aren't wanted in these woods". The movie succeeds at being a great homage to the ultra low-budget films of Tim Ritter or Troma, with some wacky special effects and a clear level of comedy. The special effects are entirely practical and to see a movie without ridiculous CG blood is a sign of relief. Its great to see a director like Ryan Nicholson working with his low budget and producing some really fun effects,including a delightful scene in which an insane would-be-rapist gets his pecker ripped off. Its moments like this that the audience goes into an uproar of repulsion and laughter, mixed emotions making a terrific combination of enjoyment.

Star Vehicle is a great film and I'm definitely happy that I'm one of the first twenty people to see it in the entire world. Ryan Nicholson is a great guy and an awesome director and I definitely recommend trying out some of his other work like Hanger if you can stomach it. This was definitely a great film and you should definitely check it out if you get the chance.

Nudity: 6/10
Gore/Violence: 6/10
Passion: 10/10
Enjoyment: 10/10
Overall Quality: 8/10

Thursday, June 10, 2010

So Totally Ballin' Athlete has been online for a long time now and everyone better watch it because its funny and incredibly distasteful. From the minor success of this video we've decided to create a series based around this character, beginning with a new cut of the original film that will contain all original material and no copyrighted songs. Wish us luck on the show and we'll start it coming this summer at the earliest!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Totally Ballin' Athlete and Blog Update

The blog is currently in hiatus due to the fact that I'm tired of writing for now. I'm sure I'll get around to finally posting my Top 10 Animated Films of the Decade list at some point. Right now I've been working on my own film projects, mainly Totally Ballin' Athlete!

The film is about a kickass athlete that plays a mean game of basketball and can send a baseball flying thousands of meters across town. However everything is not all peaceful and ballin', as TBA's archnemesis, the Totally Under appreciated Referee has sworn revenge against him for unknown reasons, sending an elite force to deal with the Totally Ballin' Athlete. The film comes out May 10th at 6:30pm, and for now you can watch exclusive content on my Youtube Channel-

Thanks to everyone for all the support and lets try to get Totally Ballin' Athlete to reach 100,000 views!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Post-Oscar Announcement

I did a great job predicting the Oscars this year and was very happy with most of the results. Most of my predictions were correct and I'm very pleased with myself for making such good positions. However, there were a few winners that I don't believe deserved to win. The largest upset in my opinion is that The Hurt Locker won best screenplay, when it definitely should have gone to Inglourious Basterds. Tarantino's script was fantastic and according to Kathryn Bigelow a lot of The Hurt Locker was improvised, so I doubt the quality of the script.Tarantino defineity should have won this award, which greatly upset me at the Oscars.

Conglaturations to Kathryn Bigelow for winning Best Picture, and Imma let her finish, but Quentin Tarantino made one of the best movies of all time. Hurt Locker was a good movie that could be watched once and be enjoyed, but I've seen Inglourious Basterds at least fifteen times and I still enjoy it. Hurt Locker doesn't stand to repeated viewings because after the audience knows where the bombs are it isn't suspenseful. Basterds was the better film, but I'm still releived that Cameron didn't win! So good job Kathryn Bigelow, I hope you continue to have a great carreer.

Now I'm going into super-bitch mode, mostly due to Twilight. Conglaturations to Stephanie Meyer for creating the worst books ever written. She's attained a following of girls around the world that only read crap, but I still respect her. But just because Twilight is so gaddamn popular right now doesn't mean that I want to see it everywhere in the entertainment industry! To get to the point, during the Oscars there was a ceremony to respect the Horror Genre, my favorite type of movies, and they had it presented by a faggot Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart. Kristen Stewart was fine being up there, as she was in a horror movie at a point in her career, but what else was Lautner in? Sharkboy and Lavagirl! The video to celebrate the Horror Genre was pretty lame, but once I saw a piece of shit Twilight clip in it I went into serious nerd rage! THAT MOVIE ISN'T TERRIFYING! ITS NOT A HORROR MOVIE! ITS GODDAMN TWILIGHT, ONCE AGAIN INVADING MY LIFE!

To conclude this review I just want to say one final thing. When Kathryn Bigelow went to receive her Award for The Hurt Locker they showed the other nomination's reactions. Tarantino had a smile on his face and applauded enthusiastically, as he probably assumed he would get snubbed on another Oscar; the other directors were also excited and applauded Bigelow on her win. The camera cuts to James Cameron and we see him with a scowl on his face and shaking his head. Bad sportsmanship on his part and I have lost lots of respect for him. First he ruined cinema with Avatar, now he's acting like a childish prick. Good job Mr. Cameron.

Rating: 5/10 (Very average--Hosts weren't that great either--very little star power from presenters--Taylor Lautner)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Avatar (2009) Review


I finally decided to do a review of the highest grossing film of all time. To set the record straight I do not like this film. I was incredibly excited for it, but when I discovered that it was only PG and was being marketed as a 'family friendly' movie, any hopes for the film having a strong plot disappeared. James Cameron already made a lot of amazing R films, so I was okay with him allowing his style to appeal to a broader audience. Sigourney Weaver was in it and that excited me as well, which made up for the lack of an R rating. The trailer finally appeared and I must have shit my pants with excitement, the special effects were superb. If Avatar was going to deliver on one thing it would be the special effects, which made up for any small errors the film may have. I went twice in Imax for the full experience, but then I saw the movie on a regular theater screen. I was disappointed. So here is a list of five things that Avatar did horribly wrong.

5. The characters are stock and unlikeable.
Every character in this film is an old movie cliche, whether it was the evil war general or the fighter pilot with a conscious, the characters in the film felt bland and stock. They acted in the most predictable ways and after they're introduced the audience already knows their point in the film. Even Sigourney Weaver is unlikeable, which isn't how I assume Cameron wanted us to think of her, but she still acts like a prick and appears as being pointless within the film. She doesn't do anything but bitch about the corporation and only sticks around as a main character so she can die as a way to make the audience get all emotional. Sam Worthington plays a total idiot and everything he does in the film pisses me off, mostly because no average person would act that way. The  worst character in the movie is Neytiri, as she is only their to play the love interest. She is uninteresting and uncharacterized, she begins the movie talking with an accent that disappears five minutes later, and worst of all she falls in love with Jake for no apparent reason other than provide a love interest. These characters were incredibly bad and it only gets worse form here.

4. The dialog is lame and poorly written.
James Cameron wrote some really bad-ass lines, but none of the can compare to "That is one big tree!" or "You are not in Kansas anymore!". Everything the bad guy Quaritch said was so cliche, and the stupidity only begins there. Jake talks like an idiot throughout the entire film and is always acting like a smart-ass. I cringe ever time a character in this film speaks, especially Jake and the Na'vi. The lines are incredibly cliche and at one point the fighter pilot says, "I didn't sign up for this shit." How many times have we heard that one before? The answer is lots and I noticed a lot of lines from other films that clearly didn't have any thought put into them. The dialog was bad and I didn't like it at all.

3. Subtle left-wing propaganda. 
The entire film bashes the United States government and makes a direct relation to cleaner energy and oil. I understand that this makes the film relevant, but it just preached 'green' views and made large corporations look evil. I don't think corporation are evil, as without them the entire world would live in poverty and I wouldn't have an iPod or Xbox, nor a job. I understand the Iraq war references and the line "We will fight terror with terror!" always makes me laugh uncontrollably because of the stupidity of the scene. The Na'vi did not terrorize the humans, however in real life terrorists did kill thousands of people when they bombed the World Trade Center. I don't appreciate these allusions to the Iraq war and respecting the environment because I'm constantly being bombarded by propaganda about the evils of the Bush administration and oil companies. This isn't that bad and I'm sure in ten years I'll actually enjoy this aspect, but for now I feel that its been overdone and brings down the film.

2. It copied the plot of other films.
Dances with WolvesStarship Troopers. Gully. Pocahantas. Avatar resembles all of these films with similar plots. Its an old cliche that a white man befriends the indigenous population and sides with them, but this movie blatantly ripped these off. The movie's evil military-esque corporation resembles the military of Starship Troopers with similar motivation to destroy the natives and the marines are being killed off by the planet's hostile wildlife in both films. I watched Fern Gully after hearing about its resemblance to Avatar, which was actually one of my favorite films when I was young. I was shocked to see the films not only featuring similar plots, but actual shots were stolen directly from the movie and placed into Avatar. A certain scene shows the main character of Fern Gully trying to stop a massive bulldozer headed towards some trees; a scene which Avatar perfectly recreates. I'm fine with a movie using a classic plot as the basis for their story, but Avatar clearly just took scenes from these other films to fill space in the plot.

1. It didn't look good on a regular screen.
When watching this on a regular theater screen without 3D and without Imax, I couldn't stand the visuals. The Na'vi look incredibly lifeless and grotesque, especially when many are displayed on the screen at once. It actually looked no better than a current generation video game. The lighting was the worse aspect of this, especially at scenes set during the night. It doesn't look good and I won't be buying this film on bluray, as it will look like shit. The visuals were what redeemed the movie for me, but without them it revealed how bad and lame this movie really is.

The good things about this movie were that the action was fun to watch and it was very rewarding to watch the soldiers get killed in a variety of horrible ways. The film could have had a strong ending if it had ended after the destruction of Home Tree, after which Jake says "I guess I just have to wake up." Sam Worthington, despite his horrible role in this film, is actually a good action star and I look forward to seeing him in The Clash of the Titans remake. In Imax the movie looks stunning. I enjoyed watching the movie the first time, despite its predictability.

The one thing that saddens me the most about this movie is that it will forever change the way movies are made. This means that directors and producers are going to focus more on the visual effects than getting good performances out of the actors, which takes all of the skill out of acting. Visual effects allow for the manipulation of anything in the scenes, so filmmakers will no longer have to focus on getting the lighting or camerawork perfect, as they can now just change it in post production. This is not filmmaking, this is animation; which is not the direction I want film to take. Avatar is going to change everything, and its going to be up to independent filmmakers to save the art form with low budget miniatures and organic effects (like the makers of Moon). It will all go downhill from here.

Rating: 3/10

Bruce Campbell: The Evil Dead (1981) Review

To conclude the month of Bruce Campbell, I am reviewing the best movies he was in, The Evil Dead Trilogy. The first film in the trilogy was a landmark horror film that created the subgenre of teenagers in a cabin in the middle of the woods (other films in the genre including Dod Sno and Cabin Fever). This is what I consider to be the perfect horror movie, as it includes character development, a strong plot, amazing camerawork, and a gritty and terrifying atmosphere. The movie looks great, as the inventive and long camera shots from a first person perspective set the mood of the film and terrify the viewer. These shots flow across the forest towards, and through, the house, showing an unknown force chasing our heroes. All the shots in this film look great, Sam Raimi sometimes strapping the camera to the roof to get the perfect shot.

The plot of the film is that a bunch of teenagers partying in an abandoned cabin accidentally awaken an ancient evil by reading the Necronomicon. This of course causes a creature to be unleashed in the forest and many of the group gets possessed and turned into zombies. The main character of the film is Ash, played by Bruce Campbell, and he goes through actual character development throughout the film series, which is very rarely seen in horror films. He begins in this film as a total pansy, but by the third film he is a bad-ass action hero. This progression is very well done because at the start of the first movie he is very unnoticeable, until the deadites are unleashed and he starts kicking ass with his boomstick. The woman in this film are incredibly annoying and get killed off quickly, the men being the heroes and continuously having to help the woman. These girls are incredibly useless and at the start of the film Ash is useless too, unwilling to kill one of his friends that has been possessed. This tricks the audience into believing that Ash's friend Scott will be the hero, and although he's the only person in the group to think rationally it is actually Ash that survives the ordeal.

The gore effects in this film are gruesome and beautiful, exploding heads and limbs being hacked off. The gore looks incredibly real, however since the characters are killing zombies the act of this murder is forgivable. The end of the film uses stop motion to show the zombies rotting away and it looks spectacular; the finale is a GUY'S FUCKING HEAD EXPLODING! The ending is so satisfying and concludes with a cliffhanger, which is perfectly continued in the sequel, which featured more gore and violence.

The greatest scene in the film is early on, when Ash's sister Cheryl first hears the evil from the Necronomicon runs out into the forest in terror. This of course ends poorly when she follows a voice calling her name only to be led deeper into the forest. The trees begin to come alive and wrap around her ankles, pinning her to the ground. Then comes the greatest, most ballsy, mind penetrating ever featured in a horror film: Cheryl is raped by a tree.

Rating: 10/10
Fanboy Rating: 11/10

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Moon (2009) Review

To be brief this is the best science fiction film I have seen that has been made in the last ten years. This film is comparable to 2001 in many aspects, but the story is paced much better and the story is easier to follow. The movie is a very accessible science fiction film, but fans of the genre will still be able to appreciate the intellectual aspect of the film, as it is in no way dumbed down to please general movie goers. The plot is incredibly suspenseful and the story is more intelligent than any other recent science fiction films; it does not contain any action like the new Star Trek, and I greatly enjoyed that its a thinking man's movie. This movie is very under appreciated and I believed that the lead (and only) actor in the film, Sam Rockwell, greatly deserved an Oscar nomination for the film. The movie also looks incredible with most of the special effects being a combination of models and miniatures, which is a style that we don't see too often anymore because of the ease of computer graphics. I highly recommend seeing this film because it is the perfect science fiction experience, being relevant, intellectual, and using captivating special effects and a superb story.

Rating: 10/10

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Bruce Campbell: Sky High (2005) Review

This was usrprisingly an amazing movie, especially for something made for little kids by Disney. I would never have expected for two of my favorite actors to be in this film, Kurt Russel and Bruce Campbell, and although they play small roles their presence widely encompasses the entire film. The basis behind the film is that the world is full of superheroes and there is a school floating in the sky (hence the title of the film) that the superheroes' children attend in order to train to be caped crusaders.

The main reason that this film succeeds is that it does the superhero genre perfectly. In recent films like Batman Begins and the Spiderman franchise, the superheroes are slaves to realism, which has fragmented the entire genre of superhero films. Back in the 70s and 80s superheroes were funny and unrealistic, which is what the genre is known for. Sky High has their superheroes wearing underwear over tights and they have all kinds of different strange and silly powers. Some kids have the usual powers like flight and super strength, but others have the power to mulitply and even tranform into guinae pigs (which you think would be entirely useless, yet this film finds a way to utilize this power). This is the perfect superhero movie and restores my faith in this genre, for as good as movies like The Dark Knight and Iron Man are, they have sucked the life and humour out of the superhero genre and have replaced it with boring realism and gritty atmospheres, both of which are not what I think should be in a superhero film.

To get back to the point of Bruce Campbell, he plays the gym coach in this film which is a small part, however he remains both funny and intimidating in the role. Most people can relate to having a gym teacher that favors the athletic (or in this case more -super- powerful) students over the nin-athletic ones (or sidekicks). Kurt Rusell is also in the film playing the world's most famous superhero and delivers a very realistic fatherly role. He is the cliche supehero wearing a costume far too tight on him and with the power of super strength, kicking all the villain's asses. On the subject of villians, the film's main antagonist's reveal is a great twist and a very original plot point, the end being an incredibly silly and action fueled adventure.

The main theme of the film is that the main character hasn't gained his powers yet, which is an obvious puberty metaphor which has been seen in dozens of films. The reason this film does this well is that it isn't in the viewers face about it and uses lots of sublety. The other main theme the film focuses on is that their is a varied class structure between the heroes and the sidekicks (or Hero Support), which seperates the groups into obvious cliques. This leads to some amazing references, especially when the sidekicks are shown as not being allowed to do anything besides supporting their hero. The sidekicks are taught to speak catch phrases like: Holy _______, _______ Man; which I found absolutely hilarious as well as many of the other jokes in this film.

I highly recommend seeing this film instead of any of the current snore-fest superhero films that explain everything scientifically and give their villians motives. This movie has the bad guys as just being bad guys, no other explanations for their actions. This movie does a great job at everything it tries and is one of the best superhero films I have seen, perfectly utilizing the standards of the genre to tell a wonderfull story and capitalize on some amazing humour that the gerne used to be known for (before Joel Schumacher ruined everything by using only humour). Bruce Campbell plays a larger role in this film than most of the movies I plan on reviewing for this month, and his performance shines throughout the entire film. My favorite superhero film and definitely a film that all fans of the genre should see.

Rating: 8/10
Fanboy Rating: Holy Perfect 10, Reviewer Man

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

David Cronenberg Marathon: Scanners (1981) Review

Fifteen minutes into this film a character's head explodes in an incredibly gory and amazing special effect. I must admit that I rewound the film over a dozen times watching this memorable scene over and over. This single scene makes this film worth watching, as I haven't seen any other films that have pulled off an effect this great. David Cronenberg did a great job with most aspects of this movie, the special effects being the most memorable part. However the film is also very well cast, with Micheal Ironside giving an excellent performance, as well as the main characters being actors that were unknown to me, yet were still able to achieve incredible characterization.

The writing is the weakest portion of the film, especially around the ending in which the cliche twists are revealed.  The best scenes in the movie actually include little or no dialog, mostly in which Cameron scans people or deals with his ability of scanning. The scanning process looks incredibly painful, enhanced by great acting as well as some amazing sound effects that were able to make myself feel uneasy. The best aspects from the film all come from the scanning process, whether it be a head exploding or the uneasiness of the scans.

Be cautious as spoilers do follow this section as I will be spoiling the ending. One great thing about the ending of this film is the horrific scanner duel that occurs between the main characters Cameron and Revak. Cameron's body literally melts in a cluster of fire and gore, which is both unsettling and gorgeous, rival gore effects rendered by computers have yet to achieve the beauty of organic effects. The ending twist is incredibly lame and brings down the interesting and intense story, as the film concludes with Revak revealing that Cameron is his brother and that he has created an entire new generation of scanners in order to take over the world. Back in the eighties this may have been a huge twist that hadn't been done over nine-thousand times before, but watching today I found it to be an incredibly weak and cliche ending to an original and suspenseful story. BUT A GUY'S HEAD FUCKING EXPLODES!!!

Just watch this film for that one scene and it's worth it. It is just so amazingly wonderfully gory and gorgeous to watch!

Rating: 5/10

Thursday, February 4, 2010

2010 Oscar Predictions

Feel free to place money on these bets. I'm accepting any kinds of wagers on this list because I know that I'll be right.

Best Live Action Short Film: The New Tenants
A film with a plot similar to many great suburban paranoia films (American Beauty, ect), this short film was incredibly powerful in its portrayal of clashing characters and interesting situations that blend different genres.

Best Animated Short Film: Wallace and Gromit in 'A Matter of Loaf and Death'
The Academy has always been fans of Wallace and Gromit, examples being the original shorts and the feature length film.

Best Short Documentary Film: Music by Prudence
Very powerful subject matter and a very well told story.

Best Feature Documentary: The Cove
This was an intense documentary, a thrilling adventure into the horrible dolphin slaughter in Japan. The entire film is horrific and intense, making for an incredibly entertaining and disturbing documentary.

Best Foreign Language Film: Das weisse Band - Eine deutsche Kindergeschichte
I have no informed opinion on this category, yet this is the only movie I've clicked on before on IMDb, so I have obviously heard of it before.

Best Animated Foreign Film: Coraline
The reason I have picked this over Up for the best animated picture is because although Up was an amazing film and probably deserves this award, Up is nominated for both Best Animated Feature and Best Picture. This means that voters for these categories will split their votes towards either the Best Picture or Best Animated categories, resulting in Up getting less votes than the other films in this category and coming home empty handed. Coraline was also an amazing film with fantastic visuals and the greatest 3D in any animated film last year, the plot appealing to adults and kids alike.

Best Achievement in Visual Effects: Avatar
Duhh, what else would I have said.

Best Achievement in Sound Editing and Best Achievement in Sound Mixing: Star Trek
I'm unsure about this category because every nominee in this category had amazing sound, yet Star Trek had so many things going on all the time and sound effect worked perfectly.

Best Achievement in Music Written for a Motion Picture, Original Song: Almost There (from The Princess and the Frog)
Randy Newman working on a Disney film, nuff' said.

Best Achievement in Music Written for a Motion Picture, Original Score: Up
It was so incredibly beautiful and emotional, more Disney magic.

Best Achievement in Makeup: Star Trek
So many different aliens and lots of detail put into making them look real.

Best Achievement in Costume Design: The Young Victoria
I'm unsure again about this category, but the era costumes from this film looked very good and extravagant.

Best Achievement in Art Direction: Avatar
It got nominated and it's the Academy's favorite for the year; Cameron also put a lot of work into making Pandora look like a living world, as well as convincing his actors that it is as well.

Best Achievement in Editing: Inglourious Basterds
Every single Tarantino film has brilliant editing, this one was his best. Every cut was meaningful and the transition between story lines was flawless.

Best Achievement in Cinematography: Inglourious Basterds
Every single Tarantino movie has the most unique and perfect camerawork, every shot meaningful and allowing for the camera to become a character of its own.

Best Screenplay Based on Material Previously Written or Published: Precious
This film contained very good dialog and was adapted wonderfully from the original book.

Best Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen: Inglourious Basterds
Tarantino is the absolute best screenwriter in the world, he deserves this award for the magnificent dialog.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds)
Christoph Waltz was chilling and hilarious in his role as Hans Landa, the Jew Hunter. He will definitely win this award. That's a Bingo!

Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Mo'Nique (Precious)
She's the favorite for this category from her upsetting and emotional portrayal in Precious.

Best Actress in a Leading Role: Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side)
I didn't like the film, but Sandra Bullock was the star to bring people into the movie, which was an amazing performance and was probably her best.

Best Actor in a Leading Role: Morgan Freeman (Invictus) or Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart)
This could go either way as each actor delivered an engaging and powerful performance in each of their roles. Morgan Freeman was believable as Nelson Mandela, yet Jeff Bridges played an emotional and compelling role. My assumption is that the Oscars will mirror the Golden Globes and Jeff Bridges will win.

Best Achievement in Directing: Quentin Tarantino
Tarantino gets the greatest performances out of his actors and creates brilliant movies. Jim Cameron could probably win this award for being able to convince actors to react to an environment that doesn't exist, but I'm going to stick with my hero Tarantino for this award that he deserves for every single perfect film he has made up to this point.

Best Motion Picture: Inglourious Basterds
I really like Basterds and it totally was the best picture of last year, but I have a bad feeling that Avatar will win because of the breakthroughs in computer effects. Basterds was an absolutely perfect film and although I had it second to Avatar on my Best of 2009 List, upon further reflection I have come to the conclusion that Basterds is one of the best films I have seen in the last few years. It will be a real shame when Avatar wins this award, but I'm going to put my money on Inglourious Basterds.

Monday, February 1, 2010

My Name is Bruce (2007) Review

To begin Bruce Campbell Month I have started with his most recent project, My Name is Bruce. Bruce Campbell plays himself and is absolutely hilarious, as he conveniently quotes his other movies and makes fun of people he has worked with. He pokes fun at his own B movie status and has some incredibly funny lines. The movie is basically just a way for Bruce to use his B movie status as a means to joke around and have control over making his own movie, as he directed it himself. The movie is about a Chinese demon being unleashed upon a small community and Bruce Campbell is asked to help the townspeople fight off the demon. Bruce assumes that its just a joke, but when he comes face to face with the demon he reacts like any other actor and runs for his life. The movie is full of great references and his number one fan has some funny tributary lines concerning Bruce, yet the movie falls flat because of some horrible acting and an incredibly bad ending.

Bruce Campbell delivers his usual camp performance and he's good at it as always, but every other character in the film doesn't work for their roles. The love interest isn't very good looking and all of her lines are incredibly lame and cliche. The townspeople incredibly overact and it is easy to tell that they're just delivering their lines rather than fitting into a character.

The ending is incredibly stupid, as Bruce Campbell decides that he can fight the monster himself and goes to kick its ass. Too bad for the audience this doesn't include any of the usual Bruce one-liners and doesn't even have him armed with his usual boomstick or chainsaw. The ending is also a disappointment because after the demon is defeated we see Bruce Campbell in a studio critiquing the movie we just watched asking for a happier ending, which is then concluded with the demon shockingly grabbing Bruce. It takes the viewer out of the film and is almost as bad as if it were all just a dream. It's a major disgrace to the audience and ruins the film, especially since the climax was lame anyways.

My Name is Bruce is the perfect Bruce Campbell movie, doing a great service to fans of the B movie star. The film delivers some clever jokes and allows for Bruce Campbell to do whatever he wants, which is great since Bruce is such a screen presence. The movie has a lot of flaws, but Bruce Campbell makes the film worth watching. Bruce Campbell is the God of B movies and because of him every movie he's in is instantly a million times better. That's the power of chin, baby.

Rating: 5/10
Fanboy Rating: 10/10

Sunday, January 24, 2010

A Facebook Debate about Avatar (2009)

ok seriously how can u say avatar was not the best movie of the year?
inglouroious basterds was better
no way
what did u not like about Avatar
it isn't that i didn't like something about it, i just think that basterds was a better film
better cinematography, lighting, editing, and many other technical aspects, as well as an original story. I've seen avatar in theaters three times, yet it hasn't affected me as much as avatar. Avatar had a timeless and well told story, but I have seen it before, and special effects can only carry a movie so far, I'm more of an organic and conventional effects person anyways, so the visuals couldn't make the movie for me by themselves. Basterds was just better, but Avatar was still a good film
no way... Bastards was to much like Valcary... plus Technical aspects? no way.. avatar had way more technical aspects that Bastards... plu Yes avatart was not an original story line... but the way Cameron protraide everyone was perfect.. plus all the subtle imagray and lines in the movie added to it immensely.. It was a great movie if u want a good action movie, its a good romance movie and its a powerful movie... if u want to see a movie no matter what u r going to see.. Avatar fits the bill
plu its made the most in box offices only beaten by titanic... which is a major feat for any movie...
i disagree, did you see Basterds? comparing it to that shitstain Operation Valcary is an outrage, seeing as Basterds is an entirely original story and both feature incredibly different assassination attempts, one using Tom Cruise as the only reason to see the film, while Basterds provides excellent acting from every character and wonderfully balances different storylines. When talking about CG, Avatar outdoes Basterds, but by technica aspects I mean lighting, camera, sound, and editing, THE MAIN CRITERIA FOR FILMMAKING, and Basterds does it perfect, Avatar is filmed entirely in front of a greenscreen, so any of these variables can be computer enhanced to perfection.
True filmmaking requires skill and precision, which although James Cameron does, Tarantino did without the means of computer enhancement. Money doesn't make a film, Citizen Cane was a box-office disaster when it came out, but its the greatest film of all time. Avatar was not as good as Basterds and you can't win a movie argument against me. Avatar was a great film, but in ten or fifteen years we'll think of it as a turning point for CG in cinema, while Basterds will be a classic!
you're writing a lot there
don't even try to beat me on this
nope... how many people have seen basterds? how many people have seen Avatar.. Avatar will be a classic.. and Cameron used the gree screen yes.. but he didnt just use computers to make the fill and enhance the viewing... get the facts about the movie making.. they didn't just sue CGI they used the actors... it was like gollum from lord of the rings... all the filming was done by hand using a new camera developed my cameon himself... he desinged a camera to work kind of like a stereo song... with some parts in one speaker and other sounds in another to give u a better viewing.. The actors where used for every bit.. all the expressions and emotions are all the actors.. they only used the CGI to bring avatar to life..
he didnt enhance at all.. all the filming of pandora and the plants and everything was done by hand... technology was used only to create the Navi... Cameron did all the lighting and everything by hand.. before u debate a movie i recommend getting the facts on how the movie was actually made.. because technology was only used to creat one aspect of Avatar.. not the whole thing.. If u have ever read any bios by James Cameron.. he is against using technology to enhance and to digitalize everything.. in his movies where ever real actors can be used... they were used...
and i will try and beat u... becuase Avatar was my favorite movie...
well the host is my favorite movie, and its a billion times better than avatar
ooooo way
in a million years
look i read your review
other things used CG, the mechs, the creatures of pandora, and THE PLANTS AND FAUNA.
but i disagree
the planet yes
not the plants though
the creaatures yes.. but they used 100 different sketch artist to get the best possible creatures.. if they existed they would be exactly as they r in the movie...
everything.. gravity physics
was taken into account
iits 100 percent plossible
thats what makes it so unique
also seriously... we both have different tastes in movie
so no matter what we r gonna disagree
lol shut down
u keep typing
Avatar was good and I praise how good it was, but you need to understand that it wasn't as good of a film as Basterds. Avatar is a technical achievement and is very good. the world of pandora was not an organic set, it was made with a computer. AND NOW YOU AGREE WITH ME.
i'm still going
u dont know the facts on how it was made
there for this entire debate was pointless
becuase we both have different tastes in movies we enjoy
so ha
Cameron is a great director and did unique things, I followed everythig about this movie since last fuckin january!!!!! I cummed my shorts when I saw the first trailer and immediately phoned all of my friends! You can't outdue me becuase I am the ultimate Cameron fan and know my shit. So don't be telling me that I don't know my crap because I saw creature designs back in march when they were leaked on some guys blog. Avatar was a great film and I just want you to understand that it was not as good of a film as you think it is.
Technical wizardry is the main object of our societies values, but classic organic filmmaking is the best possible forkm of filmmaking. I could debate that everything Cameron utilized was already widely available in video games, especially a physics engine to create actual gravity, so don't give me that terrible argument. Everything from Cameron's film is borrowed from other literature and films, and not just plot, I can name some Phil Dick stories like Screamers that resemble similar planets, right to the fauna. And it is a horrible shame that Avatar is the best film you've ever seen. Try watching some films from the 30's to the 70's , because I can name thousands of movies better than Avatar. I could even name thirteen better than it this decade, without accounting for the thousands of movies I have seen this last ten years.
Avatar does not blend genres well at all, it fails with the romance because the Na'vi appear lifeless, mostly because of the eyes and the 'uncanny valley' effect, which honestly creeps me out a little. The movie works as a great action movie, but I prefer to see REAL explosions rather than computer generated ones.
holy shit
BTW I agree that we can't change eachother's opinions, but try to watch more movies now buddy, because theres a lot more that are better than Avatar.
and Basterds as well
nope war movie r way over done
ugh... your entire argument makes me angry...
and avatar wasn't a war movie
your arguement makes me angry too
i know im saying bastards is a war movie
and war movies r way over done
i meant to have a question mark there, saying that the last half of AVATAR is a FUCKING WAR FILM
dont respond.. this is stupid...
lets agree to disagree, and also agree that i'm right
whatever, I know that more people will always care about my opinion over yours, SO THERE!
i dont care... so there
And every movie on your best of the year list was terrible.
not all bad movies but bad choices
i could say the same
and nic cage is a bad actor
and a billion other things
but i wont.. becuase like i said my opinion
not yours
and you won't say the same about mine because i had good arguments
i could
but whatever, i'm done
this is really gay
you're really gay
avatar was gay
nope and nope
u wouldent see it three times if it was gay
=) peace
and dont respond
in the literal term gay, like how its a furries dream, cameron even stating himself that some fur-art inspired him. Which makes Cameron gross and a faggot
i just responded
with a critically intelligent response
Shut the fuck up u just said u were Cameron's biggest fan!!!
plz just shut
and dont respond
i am camerons biggest fan, but that doesn't mean that furfaggotry is cool
this conversation degraded quickly, and for that i apologize
have you seen any other good movies lately?
did you read my review
was i right?
and yes its true
honestly though i think we all knew it was gonna be crap
the trailers actually made it look decent, i knew it would be stupid, but it could have been a good action movie, otherwise we wouldn't have gone
now Paranormal activity...
paranormal activity was good the first time
now Paranormal activity..
not the second
ending was gay
only the first time
just like knowing
knowing was bad all aroun
ehh... it could be argued but... yah ot was runined
so so so shitty, next you'll say 2012 was a good film
did u read my review?
i hated it
where is this review?
it was like 1000 ways to die the movie
in your best movie thing
because i remember it being there, which makes me think you thought it was A BEST MOVIE, silly
i said not in order
ORDER shouldn't matter, the fact that it was there was BAD. make a worst movie list and put it there, but don't have it on your best unless you only saw ten movies last year
ive seen alomst every movie that has come out
exept twilight 2
wasn't that on your list though?>
and it was shitty so avoid it
also i wrote that list at 2 in the morning...
i wrote mine at four in the morning and i didn't complain, i was up writing it for six hours, then did my decade list all day the next day.
i sacrifice a lot for my reviews and already have twelve up, not including my decade and year list
i know
u pride your self on movie reviews though
i watch movie to enjoy them... to see them meaning...
not to write bout them,
i watch movies for both of those purposes and watch at least two movies a day in order to get a better appreciation for film. don't you dare say that i watch movies just to write reviews because they mean so much more to me than that, and if you were to say that to my face i could hit you. I put so much effort into the reviews and i honestly know what i'm talking about so don't say that you're the bigger movie guy because I am going to always be the biggest movie guy people know. I breathe movies.
I live movies. Christ, I want to do movies for the rest of my life. Make them, review them, watch them. I just want movies forever. So don't tell me that you enjoying and looking for meaning in films are better than my reviews, because from reading them you should be able to understand that I am able to do those things and still be able to write lots of golden information about them too. Some of my friends have read my reviews as a basis for what movies to see, while I doubt that anyone you know will choose the movies they see regarding your taste. We have different tastes in film, but mine is more respected and much broader.
u just wrote what i could sum up in two word... respect and quality
which i have more of than you
but my passion leaks through in the fact that I wrote that much just to prove that I care more than you about movies
im just saying turner when it comes to some movies... u and i may have different opinions...
i agree that everyone has different opinions, but you attacked my passion, so i got pissed off
i know
trust me i know
well attacked and questiond can be argued as the same thing
questioned? you flat out stated that I "pride myself on the reviews" while you "watch movies to enjoy them and find meaning". Which I believed implied that my reviews had no substance and you were a better critic than me
but in all honesty I'm done with this stupid conversation. I know that i'm in the right. I know what movies mean to me. I am disagreeing with you and I know that I'm right. Goodbye. Come talk again after you see another movie with great special effects and tell me once again that its the greatest movie ever.
no i mean i watch movie to enjoy them... an with movies like legion and avatart to see the meaning and what the director was really trieing to imply in his movies... i dont watch to write i watch to figure out... and i will
you have one second to respond before i ditch
but in another life time
seeya, although i feel the need to respond and call you an idiot, which i will quickly: I watch to figure out, then write to share my knowledge with others so they can also see the meaning in films, hopefully training them to do it themselves later.